Part 4: Delivery

11:50- I knew this was it. I wanted to push. I wanted to push so badly- the pressure was insane. Before I ever experienced labor I always wondered what that sensation would feel like and if I would get it during labor. You always hear women say- “ you're body just knows” “You feel like you have to push!” “it feels like an intense bowel movement” Yes, to all three of those comments! The nurses helped me know when to push by looking at my contractions on the monitor. If I pushed too soon it wouldn't do as much as if I had waited for the peak of the contraction. That way my body is pushing/contracting 100% and I'm pushing 100% making for more progress with each push. It was hard to control the urge and I would look up at the nurses with pleading eyes and say “can I push yet??” “not yet- almost there, you can do it!” I just have to insert here that the nurses were amazing! I had a certain nurse ( I don't even remember her name) who was with me for a majority of my labor in the morning. Once the pushing came she had to leave for another patient or her shift was done or something. She looked at me and told me she was leaving and I would have a great nurse to replace her. I burst into tears and told her I didn't want her to go. The change was too much and I wanted everything to stay as constant as possible. But it ended up the 2^nd nurse who took her place was probably better for me. Nurse #1 was sweet and comforting Nurse #2- was more strong and type A. Throughout the hard labor, the pain was so intense I considered asking for a c-section - of course I didn't because I knew that was the last thing I wanted but my mind flew there for a brief moment. I kept saying “ I can't do it, I can't do it” crying, and looking up at my Sweetie who was very encouraging during the whole thing. Probably after I said this for awhile Nurse #2 came up to the side of my bed, leaned over and looked in my eyes. “Look at me. You CAN do this! Stop saying you can't. You HAVE to do this! You are strong. You are doing a great job. Now PUSH HER OUT!” Something along those lines- well it made me mad at the time which was just what was needed. “I'll show HER!!” lol. They kept checking my dilation and saying “push my fingers out”. My sweetie and a nurse would start counting to 10 and I would push. They would do this 3 times a contraction. Sometimes the nurse wouldn't start counting until I had already been pushing for 3 or 4 seconds so my sweetie took over at that point. Every second felt like...a little piece of Hell ( for lack of a better analogy). I don't know if they took the meds away or if it was just that bad anyway- but it hurt like crazy!!! It was definetly the worst part of it all.

Dr. Hancock kept coming in and out of the room. When he left I would ask “where is he going!!”, Knowing that if he wasn't here I probably still had quite a ways to go. The nurse took my temperature again and unbenounced to me called the doctor and told him my temp- who then came back and said “Let's get this baby out now!” At the same time another room was calling for his assistance but I was a priority due to my fever, so he stayed with me. Phoebe was Sunny- side up- so they tried turning me a bit first (hoping my movement would make her turn) but when that didn't work the doctor had to reach in and turn her around. I didn't really feel much during this process but a little pain/pressure when he inserted his hand. Eventually she turned and was truly ready to come out.

The room was full of people. There were 2-3 nurses, the doctor, a student dr. person, 2-3 people from the NICU (to take care of Phoebe immediately after she came out), my sweetie, mom, and Ashley. What a lot of people for one little baby! It was like a huge party in there!

( I have a lot more pictures I could have inserted here but they are slightly innapropriate to share on a public blog- if you want to see them, let me know =)

11:30- Around this time they said they could see the head when I pushed. Everyone was saying “she has tons of hair!!” I had prayed for a lot of hair so of course this made me so happy! When she was crowning I asked if I could touch her. I reached down and felt my baby for the first time on the outside! It was so amazing feeling her soft little tendrils. Knowing I was so close urged me on! Dr. Hancock was stationed at the end of the bed, my sweetie was to my left, along with the nurses. Counting, Pushing, Resting, Counting, Pushing, Resting. When I say resting I don't really mean resting- the intense pressure was still there, just not the piercing pain that went with it. At this point the doctor looked at me and my sweetie and said “it's taking a bit too long so we need to either use forceps or a suction” “what's the difference?” I don't remember what he said but we agreed on the forceps. “Suction” just sounds so awful and I didn't want my baby to be “sucked” out of me. The forceps just help guide her out a bit quicker using my natural contractions/pushing- they don't actually pull her out of me. He took out 2 single huge serving- utensil-spoon-looking things and inserted them in me. That part was VERY uncomfortable. Once inside he clicked them together on either side of Pheebs' head. He also did a slight episiotomy to help hurry things along a bit. I just wanted her out as fast as possible so I was totally okay with this! I don't know who was really speaking but several people were urging me on and encouraging me. “Come on, Amy, you can do it!” “That's it!” “You're almost there!” “Just a little more!” “ We can see her!” “ One more big push!” “Here we go!” “1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.” usually I would push for 10 seconds, 3 times a contraction. This time I pushed 5 times for 10 seconds. I was determined that I would get her head out this time! When people say you forget the pain, I think their on something. I definetly remember the pain! Maybe not to the full extent that it was but I knew I would never forget the craziness that it took to birth our first baby. Finally, her head emerged!! The pressure slowly subsided. I touched my baby's head and was sooo excited!! I can't describe the feelings that were inside me, but I knew I wasn't done yet.

  2:11- I gave another couple of pushes and she came out beautifully!! Everyone was cheering and yelling and saying she looked great. I asked the doctor's and nurses if she was okay and healthy- they said she was beautiful!

A nurse was about to cut the umbilical cord (for time's sake) but I stopped her and said my sweetie was going to do it. So he took the clamps and released Pheebs from the cord that had given her life for 9 months. (To the left are my Sweetie's hands cutting the clamped cord, and to the right is Phoebe's leg being held by a nurse.)

 The nurses whisked her over to the examining table so the nurses from the NICU could evaluate her. I told my sweetie to go over to her and make sure she was okay. He is such a proud daddy! I love these pictures of his smiling face. Of course, Gramsy is there as proud as ever, as well! I'm so glad again that Ashley could be there to capture the moments that I would otherwise have missed!

I kept asking to see her and hold her. I wanted to make sure I saw her before they whisked her to the NICU. Finally they brought her over to me and I clung on to her for dear life and cried tears of joy. She was the most beautiful, amazing thing I'd ever seen- to think that she had been growing in me for 9 months! That is sooo crazy! This big, healthy, happy girl was inside me all this time. They had put her on oxygen to make sure everything was good but I hardly noticed I just wanted to hold her for forever! She was so beautiful!

 

They had to take her up to the NICU to finish they're tests- I had to deliver the placenta and get stitched up. I had to wait an hour and a half after THAT to go see her. It couldn't go fast enough!